mirrortouch: (pull yourself together.)
Will Graham ([personal profile] mirrortouch) wrote2014-06-06 12:02 am
Entry tags:

01 | 🕐 | audio

[ It's not something that really ever becomes routine, it doesn't matter how often he wakes up someplace strange and uncharted. The voice on the line sounds about as scattered as he feels. ]

My name is Will Graham, it's- [ He's pulling back his sleeve to look for a watch that's not there. ] I don't have the time. I don't- I don't have the time.

[ Hang on, don't get too lost. ]

It's not clear to me exactly where I am, but- [ a dry laugh ] you probably already knew that. This isn't even my phone. But you probably knew that too.

[ He's missing details. He's missing plenty. His voice trails off for a short while before he can get his bearings enough to speak again, and even then it's almost unconsciously. ] I don't know. I don't know.

[ It's as if the fact that he has no idea sparks him back into the present. His voice grows more composed, if somewhat cracked. ] So if you're hearing this, if anyone is hearing this - [ is anyone hearing this? ] - any singular indication will be key.

[ Another beat. ]

I feel as though I've strayed a long, long way from home.

[ The air goes dead, and then so does the line. ]
praesidium: (✒ yet still we won the fight)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-06-18 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
[Not that witty, Will. Alana's smiles is wry and brief. She nods, moving into the kitchen to fix some coffee. There are a number of directions this conversation should and could go in right now, but Alana uses the excuse of making coffee as one to keep silent for the time being. It's a poor one and one she's sure Will sees through. Making coffee is rote memory, something she can do when she's barely awake. But in a way, this feels similar.]

[There doesn't seem to be much of a point in discussing that he's an inmate right now. Alana knows what Will is innocent of, but she doesn't know what he's guilty of. It terrifies her and she doesn't feel as though the ground is under her feet enough to fall into that thread of conversation. She had, at one point, accepted the idea that perhaps he did kill Abigail Hobbs. She even accepted that perhaps he was the copycat killer. But it had to have been while he was sick. She couldn't think of the idea that Will, the quiet and gentle man who took in stray dogs, was a psychopath. Eccentric though he may be, she couldn't picture him finding some base need satiated through a theatrical display, a taking of a life.]

[Alana opens a cabinet, taking out two mugs, turning to set them on the counter. She pauses there as she listens to the coffee brewing, but doesn't bring her gaze up from the mugs.]

[She didn't want to think he was capable of any of enjoying murder. She didn't want to think that her whole purpose of being here was for nothing. Her gaze drifts briefly to her desk. Hannibal had brought her a peace offering. A reminder of why she was here. A portrait of Will that was neither grotesque or disturbing like the spectacle he had put on earlier.]

[She knows there is one obvious place to start.]


I know, [she says, willing her voice to stay steady as she brings her gaze back up to Will.] About Hannibal.

I know he's the Chesapeake Ripper, I know he was the copycat killer, and I know he killed Abigail Hobbs.
praesidium: (✒ and we screamed in pain)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-06-18 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Most of them. Maybe all of them. I don't know exactly.

[Alana looks back down to the counter.]

[She found out later that Hannibal had made a very public confession before her arrival, a confession that he later destroyed or hid from her at the very least. He pulled the wool right over her eyes immediately, pretending to be a warden here to help someone else, to help Will. Once again, she trusted him without question. She believed him.]

[She let him blind her with what she wanted to see.]

[Alana draws a slow breath, smooth and careful. The exhale is less so, shaky and leaving her feeling as though she didn't get enough oxygen on her inhale. She's angry. She's angry that Hannibal was able to so easily deceive her. She's angry that she didn't figure things out on her own sooner. She's angry that Will is here, that he's an inmate. She's angry about so many things in so many different directions without any sign of relief. Mostly, she's angry at herself.]

[She folds her arms.]


I found out by accident. He didn't want me to know.

[At least not in that specific moment. Maybe never, but she could only be sure of that specific point in time.]
praesidium: (✒ how we flailed)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-03 12:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I found out from one of the other wardens, Dillon. He just arrived and he had this...mask with him.

[It's a largely irrelevant detail, but it still stands out in Alana's mind. Something meant to keep someone from biting. It seemed animalistic and savage. Things that clashed with everything that Hannibal used to stand for in Alana's mind.]

As it turns out, Hannibal is from a book series where Dillon is from.

[Alana supposes that should technically be a little more unsettling than the reality of who Hannibal Lecter really is beneath his carefully practiced and placed veneer of friend and mentor. Then again, it doesn't seem all that surprising. If there are a number of universes out there in the world, who isn't to say that there might be some overlap between them?]

I asked around and it turned out that Hannibal had pretended to be Abigail's father when he first arrived. He murdered a number of people before I came here and revealed himself to everyone.

[She leaves out the part of Hannibal using Ned's power to bring the organs and flesh he harvested for meals back to life, how he lured people to Ned's cabin before eating them or serving them up to an unsuspecting innocent. It's not such an unnecessary detail, but it's not one that Alana wants to dwell on though she still grimaces all the same.]

[Alana wipes at a stray tear absentmindedly.]


When I arrived, he hid his announcement, but when I found out he didn't bother to hide any of it.
praesidium: <user name="thesubrosa"> (✒ take it step by step)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-08 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[Alana doesn't know what Will means by Hannibal liking or. Or rather, she'd rather not and can force that kind of ignorance on herself only so far. It's not as though she can pretend that she hadn't ever entertained the thought, that they never moved closer to something more than what they had before one or the other made up a seemingly solid excuse not to.]

[Alana's skin crawls and for a moment, it feels difficult to get a breath as though instead of air she's suddenly found herself in suffocating miasma that hardens her lungs. The thoughts are enough to make Alana feel as though she needs to be alone, that she needs a thousand scalding showers to try and erase whatever it is Hannibal was or might have been to her. But she doesn't and instead focuses on pour Will's coffee.]


No. Hannibal is the product of someone's imagination in some of the other worlds.

[Alana didn't dig deeper than that. She didn't want to know. She still doesn't if only because she doesn't see what difference it would make, what exactly it would change to know the possibility of all of Hannibal's crimes, just how deeply the darkness goes. She's brushed close enough to it now that she still feels infected, still swallowed whole by it no matter how much she pushes and fights back towards the light again.]

[Hannibal is inexplicably intertwined in all of their lives now. There's no going back. There is no unringing the bell.]
praesidium: (✒ both you and me)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-12 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
[Will moves closer to Alana and it's a move all too familiar to her, at least the intentions behind it are. It's not one of Will's romantic overtures, but it comes from a similar place. He wants to protect Alana, to shelter her from something intangible, something he can never protect her from whether because by now it's too late or because Alana won't let him knowing how very poorly he can even protect himself. Even if he had found his way back to steady footing, she doesn't know if she could allow herself to be protected by Will. Hannibal had sheltered Alana and look at where she ended up. While it's true that Will is innocent of the crimes Hannibal orchestrated, Hannibal is a strong and lean predator and Alana feels that everything she's known about Will Graham could come unraveled faster than everything she believed of Hannibal if Hannibal willed it to be so.]

[All she wants to do is save Will Graham. And she has no idea how to do it. Alana has even less of an idea now that Will is here and Hannibal has, more or less, unlimited access to continue whatever sick manipulations he wants with Will and Abigail both. And then there is simply the matter of Abigail even without Hannibal in the picture. Will and Abigail are not good for each other. Their relationship isn't healthy as they constantly push and pull one another under Garret Jacob Hobbs' shadow and Hannibal's careful eye. Alana can keep her head above the waters, but can Will with all of that tethering him down?]

[Alana pushes the cup towards Will, fingers lingering on it for only a second before she pulls her hand away again.]


Most people are okay with monsters as long as they aren't real. Hannibal's just...a grown-up's version of a monster in the closet to them. As long as he stays that way, they stay entertained and guilt-free.
praesidium: (✒ cut out)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-21 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
[His effort earns him a wry smile, but a smile nonetheless. This conversation, on the whole, isn't one for smiles. Nor is the topic that Alana is pointedly, at this juncture, trying to both avoid and figure out how to broach.]

[After a moment - or two, it's hard to tell how long a moment actually lasts for before it's punctuated into a second or third - she decides there really is no other way beyond simply asking. Although she can be gentle, and Alana almost always is when it comes to Will, she needs to be blunt about this for both her sake and his. It's something that needs to be discussed no matter how much he might not want to and she's afraid to.]


I guess what I'm having a difficult time understanding now is why you're here, Will.

Hannibal lied and he framed you for things you didn't do, but that wouldn't bring you here as an inmate.
praesidium: (✒ to wreck it all)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-30 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Alana shakes her head a little even though Will isn't looking at her now. Finding her voice is difficult and breathing is following shortly behind. The answer isn't something she wants to hear, she can tell now just from the simple fact he won't look at her, he won't meet her eyes anymore.]

[Oh, she knew she wouldn't like the answer from the start. The moment it became clear he was an inmate, not a warden, her stomach dropped and the dread settled in right in the middle of her chest. But she had tried to believe that there was a good explanation for all of this. Maybe a misunderstanding. Hopeless hopes, but ones she held onto right up until he looked away.]

[Alana finds her voice, slowly.]


Will... What did you do?

[What did Hannibal do to him?]
praesidium: (✒ as we grow tall)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-30 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
[Alana can't smile. But she also can't frown or scream and cry. She can barely even register Will's words as intelligible and true much less feel anything at this news. She instead just feels the ground shift out from under her, feels herself fall apart and melt away from the inside out into a void, leaving nothing but a shell or a fragment of herself behind.]

[For months, she has held onto the belief that Will was innocent. She was given validation for those beliefs. She only saw the good in Will because she had to believe that it existed somewhere to make all of this worth it. And it wasn't Hannibal that took that away from her.]

[Alana looks away from Will, eyes wet and a hand coming up to cover her mouth. Is it to keep the bile she feels rising down or to keep any sign that could be construed as a sob tucked away? She doesn't know, feeling all of it at once alongside the nothingness. She's slower in her movement away from him, stopping short of leaving the kitchen and heading back into the living room. She turns to face Will again, gaze pointedly looking down for a moment. Alana opens her mouth to say something, anything, but the moment she looks at Will again she stops.]

[She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't think there's anything she can say.]
praesidium: (✒ yes we anger)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-30 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
No. [Alana shakes her head and repeats herself, hardly realizing she even said it once already. There is hardly anything thinking required for this because it's not even an option.] No.

Will, Hannibal is dangerous.
praesidium: (✒ yes we anger)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-30 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
Will, you have to let this go. [Alana steps back over to stand across the kitchen's island from him.] You have to let Hannibal go.

[For now. At least like this. Will can't walk down this path to try and put Hannibal where he belongs. How far down the line can he possibly go before he becomes something he'll never be able to escape?]
praesidium: (✒ and my lover on my mind)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-30 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not asking you... [Alana pauses, looking down at the counter for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts into something coherent, but it's along the same lines as trying to herd feral cats.]

[She speaks low. Although they're the only two people in the room, her voice is soft and quiet. It's her quiet plea. Her last stand in trying to save Will Graham not just from Hannibal Lecter, but from himself.]


I'm asking you to not take that road, Will. Because I'm afraid, [she admits, looking up as the first tears fall. Alana's lips move in motions to speak, but it takes a moment before she can.] I'm afraid that if you go down that road, you won't come back. And there will be nothing I can do to save you.

[She swallows hard. Alana is already so afraid that maybe it's already too late.]

That's not-- That's not my professional opinion, Will. That's my opinion as your friend.
praesidium: (✒ we want to know ourselves)

[personal profile] praesidium 2014-07-30 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Is there still a difference?

[It's not a question that Alana really wants to contemplate or ask, but she does anyway. She doesn't know how far Will's gone. He's already tried to kill Hannibal. He's already taken another life. Will's stability was in question long before all of this, but it is now more than ever. She doesn't know if most people could operate in such morally grey areas to catch Hannibal, but she doubts Will more than most though.]

[Even without the encephalitis confusing his reality, Alana doesn't know if she can trust him not to go too far now.]

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